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Friday, September 5, 2008

Amusing Spam

As the webmaster of The Evergreen's website, I get what we in the business like to call a "Sweaty Fuckton" of spam emails.

Mind you, for the benefit of those theoretical people that Hormel have hypothesized might be confused by this usage, I'm not referring to the well-known food product which bears the same name and is favored by Vikings, but rather to unsolicited email.

Of course, though unsolicited, it is not always unwelcomed. Say, for instance, you wanted to enlarge your wanger, or your jubblies. Or if you were looking for a pill to make aforementioned stand upright. The wanger that is. I'm not cognizant of any pill which causes one's jubblies to stand upright, but if there were such a thing, I'm sure there'd be a market.

Pursuant to the original point, however, I get a lot of spam email. Occasionally this email has the capacity to amuse me.

For instance, this email's subject line suggests what should be done with it:

Subject: Incinerate

Then there is the bizarre indian version of Engrish:

Blessed is the season which engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love

Blessed indeed are the conspirators, for they shall inherit the earth.
However, my favorites are always the randomly generated clause messages:

Nothing like it [DETAILS] displeasing ducked

I ducked displeasingly three times in one day... My vehicle was being unkind to my head.

abominable tarp

Abominable tarp? Damn, I've gotta get me one of those.

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