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Wednesday, September 10, 2008

…beinge an accounte of divers topic∫.

Tor and I had fome matter of difcourse yefterday about how awesome English was back in the days before there were any actual rules of grammar. You would Capitalize anything you wanted to Draw Attention to, tack the letter 'e' willy-nilly onto things in a highly inconsistent fashion, and just sort of randomly choose to insert the medial 's' which made it read as if it was an 'f' (now surviving only as the integral symbol in calculus.)

However, rules of style were still strongly in play. For instance, it was traditional to decorate the fuck out of a title page and include some description of what's going to happen in the book, usually in the form of something like this:

A Tale of False Cheeses

Beinge ann accounte Moft Dire of Travails fuffered in the procurement of a plate of Nachoes from an convenient store.

It occurred to us that it would be awesome if there were some person following you around phrasing every annoying thing that happened to you as if it were an Elizabethan drama.

I know that'd make me feel better at least.


  1. Yea for ƒ is anything but that moſt eluſive orthographick ſymbol. Only a true mastre of the evile and foul Unicode or one who poßeſeth our Lord's moſt merciful Open Type can produſe the medial s.

    (Wikipedia helps too)

    The ƒ belongge to the Dutchmen, who used as an indecator their Coin.

  2. There's only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch.